i guess i'll make my own way

Sometimes i wonder what the hell have i done in my past life to deserve this.
Is it just me, or is it that every person who is ranked number 2 among their siblings get treated unfairly?
What's worst is i have really really really god damn it childish plus stubborn parents. You can never understand how childish they can go.

The thing is, currently i'm not talking to my mum. And it's not like i'm making her angry or what. It's that she purposely don't wanna talk to me one luh.

I think it happens around last week. Me and my sister is watching TV and my mum ask me to bring the laundry basket down. Thn of course i said to my sister
"Go bring it down"

Okay, maybe i'm being a little overboard but my sister should go take it down and not me because she's always doing nothing and i'm always th one doing everything!!!
Of course my mum not unhappy thn she actually said to my sister and asked her to sit down don't move and ask me to go take it down!!!
What the fluck i'm damn pissed tht time cause i feel so unfair why my sister cn sit down and why must i be the one to go take it down!!! What the fluck don't give me shitz like i'm th elder sister i should do this thing thn if my sister remains unmarried thn i must share my husband with her la? What the fluck.

I'm not trying to be lazy but it's true luh. Everytime my mum will asked me to do something thn when i tell her why don't wanna ask my sister she actually gave me bloody reasons like my sister needa study. What th fluck. Last year when i have my 'O' levels i'm still doing everything. Why don't i have th same reason of "studying-thus-my-sister-should-do-the-chores"?

This is insanely and bloodyly unfair.

So, after staring down at me for 15minutes, i slowly slowly make my way upstairs and drag th laundry down walking at a 1 step/5 seconds. Cannot blame me okay, I'm damn pissed. This is not th first time such unfairness happens to me you cn never understand how i feel so shut up.

So, when i finally brought it to her, i'm mumbling to myself about something and doing wierd faces and guess what the empress said?
"STOP DOING THIS KIND OF FACES AT ME YOU BE CAREFUL I'M NOT GONNA TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN!!!"

What the fluck have i done to deserve this?

The worst thing is everytime when i fight with my mum, i'm ALWAYS the one to talk to her first one luh cause i keep telling myself
"It's enough tht she's childish. I shouldn't behave like her."

And the damn pissed thing is even when i drag down my face and talk to her nicely, she gave me that one-word-plus-cold-response. What th fluck have i done to deserve this?
I can dare say most of the fight 3/4 of it is because of unfair treatment and i'm nice enough to be the one to talk to her first. And tht's th response i get?
Sorry. But since young i'm taught of th phrase "何必用自己的热脸贴人家的冷屁股"

What's worst of th worst is everytime when my sister fights with my mum, my mum will be the one to talk to her first! Even when my sister is in the wrong!!! What the fluck this is damn unfair and it's a bloody damn obvious kinda unfairness.

So since tht incidence i've not talk to my mum. I cannot talk to her. I just feels so upset and unfair. It's goes to the extent where it makes me feel like i do not belong here.
It's like, it's bad enough my brother treats me as Ms Invisible. And sometimes my sister gives my flucking attitude even though i've done nothing to her! And thn my mum who behaves immaturely and unfairly towards me and i got a dad who only knows how to sleep.

Oh god. And my dad even asked me to stop being naughty and talk to my mum. What th fluck is this? He doesn't even know wht happens and accuse me of being naughty?
What th fluck.

I love my family, truely i do. But this thing going on just makes me so upset. I don't know what i've done. Like, it's okay if you want me to help with th chores, but it's not okay if i'm th only one doing it.

Yes i know i shouldn't complain and should treasure everything i have, should stop complaining, without my parents i wouldn't be here blah blah.
And there are times tht my mum and i get along really really well and i really love her but this is sth i've endured for years and i just have to let it out!!!

What th fluck you'll probably think i'm a spoilt brat anyway.

FML.

Love,
Zijing